Children told lies by parents subsequently lie more as adults, face adjustment difficulty

小时候被父母骗的孩子长大后更容易撒谎而且在适应社会方面会遇到困难

"If you don't behave, I'll call the police," is a lie that parents might use to get their young children to behave. Parents' lies elicit compliance in the short term, but a new psychology study led by Nanyang Technological University, Singapore (NTU Singapore) suggests that they are associated with detrimental effects when the child becomes an adult.

“如果你不听话，我就叫警察来”，为了让孩子听话，父母可能会这样骗孩子。这样的谎言可以让孩子在短期内顺从。但是，由新加坡南洋理工大学所做的一项新心理研究表明，当孩子长大后，父母的这些谎言会给孩子带来不利影响。

The research team asked 379 Singaporean young adults whether their parents lied to them when they were children, how much they lie to their parents now, and how well they adjust to adulthood challenges.

针对在小时候，父母是否向他们撒谎，现在他们向父母撒谎的程度以及他们对成年后所遇到困难的适应情况，研究团队询问了379位新加坡年轻人。

Adults who reported being lied to more as children, were more likely to report lying to their parents in their adulthood. They also said they faced greater difficulty in meeting psychological and social challenges. Adjustment difficulties include disruptiveness, conduct problems, experience of guilt and shame, as well as selfish and manipulative character.

报告在孩提时经常被父母骗的年轻人更有可能表示他们在成年后也会对父母撒谎。他们也表示，在面对心理和社会挑战时，他们会面临更大的困难。适应性方面的困难包括无法坚持、行为问题，罪恶感和羞愧感以及自私和爱耍手段。

The research, done in collaboration with Canada's University of Toronto, the United States' University of California, San Diego, and China's Zhejiang Normal University, was published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology in September.

这项与加拿大多伦多大学、美国加利福尼亚大学、美国圣地亚哥大学以及中国浙江师范大学合作开展的研究发表于9月份的《儿童实验心理学》期刊上。

Lead author Assistant Professor Setoh Peipei from NTU Singapore's School of Social Sciences said, "Parenting by lying can seem to save time especially when the real reasons behind why parents want children to do something is complicated to explain. When parents tell children that 'honesty is the best policy', but display dishonesty by lying, such behaviour can send conflicting messages to their children. Parents' dishonesty may eventually erode trust and promote dishonesty in children."

研究首席作者，新加坡南洋理工大学社会科学学院的助教Setoh Peipei表示：“使用欺骗的方法教育孩子似乎是一条捷径，特别是当父母想要孩子做某些事情的真实原因很难去解释时。当父母教导孩子‘要诚实’，但父母自己却又通过撒谎表现出不诚实时，这一行为会向孩子传递互相矛盾的信息。父母的不诚实可能最终会破坏信任并导致孩子也变得不诚实。”

"Our research suggests that parenting by lying is a practice that has negative consequences for children when they grow up. Parents should be aware of these potential downstream implications and consider alternatives to lying, such as acknowledging children's feelings, giving information so children know what to expect, offering choices and problem-solving together, to elicit good behaviour from children."

“我们的研究表明，通过欺骗来教育孩子会在孩子长大后产生负面影响。父母应该了解这些潜在的不利影响并考虑尝试其他的替代方案，比如表示理解孩子的感受，告诉孩子实际情况，这样孩子就可以知道需要面对的情况，为孩子提供选择和解决问题的方法。这些都可以激发出孩子好的行为。”

How the study was done

研究开展的方法

379 Singaporean young adults completed four online questionnaires.

379位新加坡青年完成四项在线问卷调查。

The first questionnaire asked participants to recall if their parents told them lies that related to eating; leaving and/or staying; children's misbehaviour; and spending money. Some examples of such lies are "If you don't come with me now, I will leave you here by yourself" and "I did not bring money with me today, we can come back another day."

第一组问卷调查会让参与者回忆，父母在关于吃饭、离开和/或留下来、孩子淘气时和花钱方面，是否骗过他们；这类谎言包括“如果现在不走的话，那你自己待在这儿吧”和“我今天没带钱，我们下次再来。”

The second questionnaire asked participants to indicate how frequently as adults they lied to their parents. It asked about lies in relation to their activities and actions; prosocial lies (or lies intended to benefit others); and exaggerations about events.

第二组问卷调查请参与者回答他们向父母撒谎的频率。有关撒谎的问题包括与他们的行为和做法有关的谎言；亲社会谎言（或旨在让他人受益的谎言）以及对事情的夸大描述。

Lastly, participants filled in two questionnaires that measured their self-reported psychosocial maladjustment and tendency to behave selfishly and impulsively.

最后，参与者会完成两项旨在测量其自我描述的心理失调和自私和冲动倾向的问卷调查。

The analysis found that parenting by lying could place children at a greater risk of developing problems that the society frowns upon, such as aggression, rule-breaking and intrusive behaviours.

分析发现，通过欺骗来教育孩子的方法可能会让孩子更容易产生社会所排斥的行为，比如侵略性、不守规则以及影响他人的行为。

Some limitations of the study include relying on what young adults report about their retrospective experience of parents' lying. "Future research can explore using multiple informants, such as parents, to report on the same variables," suggested Asst Prof Setoh.

研究的某些局限性包括依靠年轻人来回忆并介绍父母的撒谎情况。Setoh表示：“未来的研究还会利用多个信息来源展开研究，比如请父母对同一变量发表看法。”

The authors also pointed out that as the study is correlational in design, which aims to find out the naturally occurring relationships between variables, they are unable to draw causal inferences.

作者还指出，由于研究采用相关性设计，其目的是找到变量之间天然存在的关系，因此研究无法得出因果推断。

Another area yet to be investigated would be the nature of the lies or goals of the parent. Asst Prof Setoh said, "It is possible that a lie to assert the parents' power, such as saying 'If you don't behave, we will throw you into the ocean to feed the fish', may be more related to children's adjustment difficulties as adults, compared to lies that target children's compliance, e.g. 'there is no more candy in the house'.

另一个需要研究的领域可能是撒谎的本意或父母的目的。助教Setoh表示：“与希望孩子听话来欺骗孩子，比如‘家里没有糖了’相比，一个为了确立父母威信的谎言，比如‘如果你表现不好，我们就把你扔到海里去喂鱼’可能会与孩子在成人后所出现的适应性困难有更大的关联。”

"Authority assertion over children is a form of psychological intrusiveness, which may undermine children's sense of autonomy and convey rejection, ultimately undermining children's emotional well-being. Future research should examine the nature of the lies and goals of the parents so that researchers can suggest what kind of lies to avoid, and what kind of truth-telling parents should engage in."

“对孩子表示权威是一种心理侵入，这可能会破坏孩子的自主感并导致排斥，最终破坏孩子的情感健康。未来的研究应检查谎言的本质和父母撒谎的目的，这样研究人员就可以给出哪些谎言需要避免以及哪类真话父母应该告诉孩子的建议。”

文章来源：科学日报   编辑：Susan