How to keep New Year's resolutions

如何实现自己的新年愿望

Do you want to eat better, exercise more, stop vaping or lose weight?

Great. Now's the time to set those New Year's resolutions.

你的新年愿望是吃的更健康、花更多时间锻炼身体、和电子烟说拜拜还是控制体重?

这些愿望都不错。那么，现在我们就来制定新年愿望。

As we head into a year -- and a new decade -- your first step is to believe you can do it.

随着我们步入新的一年，同时也是一个崭新的十年，我们首先要做的就是相信自己可以做到。

The opposite is also true, said University of Scranton psychology professor John C. Norcross, who has studied resolutions for decades. If you think you can't do it, you'll likely prove yourself right.

斯克兰顿大学心理学教授John C. Norcross研究新年愿望已有数十年。他认为，认为自己无法做到也是事实。如果你认为自己无法做到某件事，那么你很可能会证明自己是对的。

While about 40% of Americans set resolutions around January 1, about 40% to 44% of them will be successful at six months, said Norcross, reporting his results from multiple studies with colleagues.

尽管会有大约40%的美国人会在1月1日左右设定新年愿望，大约会有40%-44%的人会在前六个月获得成功，Norcross认为。这一判断来自于他和同事所做的多项研究结果。

But if you believe in yourself, you are 10 times more likely to change via a New Year's resolution, compared to non-resolvers, when both groups have comparable goals and motivation, he reported.

但是，根据Norcross的报告，当下定决心的人和没有下定决心的人设定相似的目标并具有类似的动机时，如果你相信自己，那么你实现新年愿望的可能性要比那些没有下定决心的人高10倍。

Here's how to start yourself on the strongest possible footing this year.

以下内容可以告诉你如何制定自己的新年计划

Make it specific

让计划更具体

Eating better and exercising more are all nice ideas, but they're too general and don't give you a plan of action. People often think they lack motivation when the problem is really a lack of clarity, wrote author James Clear in his book, "Atomic Habits."

饮食更健康以及花更多时间锻炼都是不错的愿望，但是内容过于泛泛，因此无法制定相应的行动计划。当目标不够清晰时，人们往往会认为自己缺乏动机，James Clear在其作品《原子能计划》中写道。

"The simple way to apply this strategy to your habits is to fill out this sentence: I will [BEHAVIOR] at [TIME] in [LOCATION]," writes Clear.

If you want to eat better, be specific: Resolve to add a fruit or vegetable to your lunch every day, limit fast food to once per week, or have dessert once a week.

Clear在书中写道：“将计划变为习惯的一个简单办法就是把这个句子补充完整：我什么时间，在哪里，做什么。”如果你希望自己吃的更加健康，那么你可以把这句话变得更加具体：我决心每天午餐时多吃一个水果或一些蔬菜，每周只吃一次快餐或甜品。

Make it possible

制定可能实现的目标

Don't commit to a marathon if you hate running.

如果你讨厌跑步，那么不要逼自己去跑马拉松

Avoid resolutions that sound great but are unattainable. In fact, make them them something you will enjoy. They can still be hard, but that doesn't mean they have to make you miserable.

不要制定一些听起来很不错，但却无法实现的愿望。事实上，让这些愿望变成你真正爱做的事。尽管这些愿望实现起来还是充满挑战，但充满挑战并不意味着让自己痛苦难受。

To eat better, put that bowl of fruit right next to your lunch bag, so you grab an apple or orange every day. Hate apples? Don't pick apples. Pick a fruit you are likely to eat.

如果想吃的更加健康，那么可以将一碗水果放在自己的餐包旁边，这样每天就可以拿一个苹果或橙子。如果你不喜欢吃苹果，那就选一种你爱吃的水果。

To exercise more, you might want to run more. But if you're a night person, don't make it harder on yourself by trying to run every morning before work, said Gretchen Rubin, author of "The Happiness Project." Do it after work.

如果你的愿望是花更多时间去锻炼，那么你可能希望把更多时间用来跑步。但是如果你是一个夜猫子，那么就不要尝试每天早上在上班之前跑步，因为这样会让自己变得更难,Gretchen Rubin-《幸福工程》的作者在文章中写道。“把跑步放在工作之后”。

Want to meditate? Great. Rubin hates meditating, so she stopped doing it. It's ok to experiment and stop doing things you don't like. "Know who you are, and who you're not," she said.

新年愿望是冥想？太棒了。Rubin讨厌冥想，所以她选择不再继续。尝试并停止做自己讨厌做的事情完全没问题。“了解自己属于哪一类人，又不属于哪一类人”，她说道。

Allow yourself to fail

允许自己失败

It's OK if a coworker's box of donuts throws you off for one day.

某天，同事的一盒花生让你把今天的目标抛在了脑后？这其实很正常。

Everyone screws up. Expect to have occasional slips. But don't let the occasional missed exercise class or Friday workplace donut throw you off course, explained Norcross.

每个人都会犯错。允许自己偶尔犯错。但是不要让偶尔错过的训练课或周五办公室里的花生让你偏离既定目标，Norcross解释道。

Most successful resolvers slip in January, but 71% of successful resolvers say their first slip strengthened their efforts through a combination of guilt, increasing awareness of their problem's severity, and the slip reminding them to refine their plans, he said.

最成功的许愿者会在一月份犯错。但是，71%成功实现愿望的许愿者都表示，第一次犯错会让他们有一种负罪感，会更加认识到问题的严重性。另外，犯错还会提醒他们不断修改自己的计划，这些都会让他们变得更加努力。

If you know you're walking into a high pressure situation, practice saying "no thanks" to your aunt's apple pie in advance. Even people who don't like apple pie sometimes still eat it when offered just to be polite. Instead, practice saying "No, thank you."

当知道自己将要面临巨大的压力时，请预先练习向递给你苹果派的姨妈说“不，谢谢”。有些人哪怕并不喜欢吃苹果派，但出于礼貌，还是会吃掉别人递给自己的苹果派。那么，现在就请练习说“不，谢谢”。

And if you do slip? Focus on getting back on track, not the slip. "The people who show more compassion for themselves are more likely to get back on the horse and try again," Rubin said.

那么，犯错了该怎么办？把注意力放在重新回到正轨上。“对自己表现出更多同情心的人更有可能重振旗鼓并再次尝试”，Rubin说。

Set yourself up for success

实现愿望

Trying to stay off your phone? Get it out of your bedroom by using a standard alarm clock.

想摆脱手机？把手机放在卧室外面并用传统的闹钟替代手机。

See what they tell you: If you're resolved to spend less time on your phone but grab it as soon as you wake up, put your phone in another room at night. Oh, it's your alarm, you say? Buy an alarm clock. They cost $6 now.

看看别人的经验：你希望减少看手机的时间，但是每次一醒来，你就会把手机拿到手里。那么，你可以在前一天晚上把手机放在另外一个房间。哦，你会说，手机也是闹钟啊。买一个闹钟吧，现在只要6美元。

If you want to limit sweets, get them out of your house. Stay away from your work's break room during Wednesday snack time.

如果你想少吃一些糖，那么把糖拿到别的房间。在每周三的零食时间，不要呆在放有零食的休息室内。

Know yourself

了解自己

Rather than asking you to consider your goals, Clear asks you to consider this two-step process.

不要去思考自己的目标。Clear的建议是请你思考这两个问题。

Decide the type of person you want to be: A healthy person? A strong person? A writer? A musician?

你希望成为哪一类人？健康的？强壮的？一个作家？还是一个“音乐家”？

Then prove it to yourself with small wins over time. Gym classes, weight lifting, writing, practicing. Every time you do something toward the goal of you who want to be, tell yourself that you are becoming that person. (I did my Pilates in the morning before I started writing this piece. It's part of my goal to be a healthy person.)

然后，在接下来的一段时间内，利用小的成功向自己证明。体育课、举重、写作、练习。每次朝自己的目标努力时，告诉自己你正在变成自己希望成为的人。（在我写这篇文章之前，我在早晨完成了普拉提练习。我的目标之一就是身体健康。）

Make it public

将自己的愿望公开

Author Gretchen Rubin says she plans to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art a lot in the new year.

作者Gretchen Rubin说，她计划在新的一年里多去参观一下大都会博物馆。

If you're surrounded by supportive friends and family, making your goals public and asking for accountability can help. So can joining a gym with friendly competition or a group like Weight Watchers.

如果周围有支持你的朋友和家人，那么向他们公开你的愿望并提出对愿望负责将有助于你实现目标。你可以加入举行友好比赛的健身房或类似于“慧俪轻体”这样的群体。

The resolution guides I spoke to agreed to go public with their resolutions: Norcross resolved to stop multitasking in 2020, and he had already started practicing during our telephone interview. 

和我谈过话的愿望导师同意公开自己的新年目标：Norcross决心在2020年停止同时处理多项工作。他在电话采访期间就已经开始付诸实践了。

Psychologist Lisa Damour, author of "Under Pressure" about the lives of teen girls, plans to focus on meditating in 2020, despite having two children and a more-than-full-time career.

心理学家Lisa Damour，《压力之下》（一本少女生活的作品）的作者。尽管有2个孩子还有一份比全职还要忙的工作，她2020年的计划是专注于冥想。

"I'm going to start at five minutes daily," she said, crediting James Clear with starting a daily "atomic habit" before trying for more.

“我刚开始会每天冥想5分钟”，她说。在尝试进行更长时间之前，她把这一做法归功于James Clear。James会从每天一个小目标开始做起。

Rubin is going to try to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art every day she's home in Manhattan, a few blocks from the museum.

Rubin打算每天参观大都会博物馆。Rubin住在曼哈顿，里博物馆距离几个街区。

While that sounds like a tall order, it's also the subject of her next book -- so it's huge motivation to explore and learn from her new workplace in the new year.

尽管这一目标听起来很困难，但这也是她下一步作品的主题。这次，她有巨大的动力在新的一年探索这里并在这里学习。

Show (don't tell) your children

做给孩子们看（而不是告诉孩子们）

Model good behavior: Teens won't get off their phones if you're always on yours.

榜样行为：如果你一直拿到手机，那么这些青少年们也不会放下手中的手机。

Parents can open the door to a conversation with their children about resolutions by talking about their own reflections and hopes for the new year. They can mention that it's hard to meet their own goals, and that perfection is not the goal.

父母可以和孩子敞开心扉聊一聊自己的新年愿望。他们可以谈谈自己的反思以及对新一年的期待。父母可以告诉孩子们，实现自己的目标并不容易。实现目标并非为了追求完美。

Parents can bring up the changes they want to make and model how they want to make those changes, said Damour. It's important to bring it up without criticizing, she said.

父母可以告诉孩子自己希望做出哪些改变并向孩子们展现出自己是如何让这些改变发生的，Damour表示。教导孩子的时候不要批评孩子，这一点很重要。

With children under age 10, parents can take the lead in a discussion about where family members have room to grow, she said. Once your children get to adolescence, don't give them any ideas, she added.

当孩子还不满10岁时，父母可以带头讨论家庭成员的成长空间。当孩子进入青春期时，不要把自己的任何想法强加给他们，Damour补充表示。

"Parents should work with the assumption that no normally developing teenager wants to be told what to do," said Damour. If the teenager is quietly doing the right thing and the parent suggests it, kids will likely stop doing it.

Damour说：“父母应该知道，没有哪一个正常成长的青少年希望按别人的指示去做事”。如果父母在一个青少年正在做一件正确的事时要求他（她）去做这件事，那么处于青春期的孩子很可能不再做这件事。

"Most of how we guide young people is modeling the behaviors we want," she said. "If what you say and do don't match, a teenager will notice and call you on your hypocrisy."

绝大多数我们对年轻人的教导都是让他们表现出我们所希望的行为。如果你言行不一，那么你的孩子会注意到这一点并会认为你是一个伪君子。

文章来源：CNN,编辑:Susan