How to Read Someone Instantly

如何快速读懂他人

Do you ever wish you could tell right away if someone is telling the truth or not? Or maybe you want to get a better feel for a date so you know if they're worth your time. There's no single way to know everything about a person right away. However, if you know what you're looking for, you can get a pretty good feel for who a person really is. Try asking yourself these questions when you meet someone—you might be surprised at the insight you get!

你是不是想立刻判断出对方是不是撒谎了？或者也许你想对约会对象有更多了解，以便判断是否值得花时间去相处。其实，并没有一个单一的方法来立刻了解一个人的各个方面。但是，如果你知道自己正在寻找哪些信息，那么你可以对一个人的真正内在有一个清楚的了解。当你遇见某人时，请尝试问自己以下问题，这些问题也许会让你惊讶于自己的发现！

How are they dressed?

对方的着装风格

Their outfit might offer clues about their personality or lifestyle. Look for anything that stands out about their fashion choices. Someone who's dressed in all-designer clothes might care too much about appearances and what others think of them. On the other hand, a young mom wearing a hoodie with jeans and a messy bun might be struggling to make time for herself.

他们的服装可能会给你带来有关其个性或生活方式的线索。了解他们在时尚选择方面是否有不同之处。全身上下都是名牌的人可能会过分关注外表以及其他人对自己的看法。另一方面，身穿连帽衫配牛仔裤并且发髻看上去很乱的年轻妈妈很可能根本没有属于自己的时间。

A brightly colored pair of socks might be a hint that they have a great sense of humor, or a nice watch might let you know that they care about being punctual.

色彩明艳的袜子也许暗示穿着者非常具有幽默感，一块讲究的手表也许是让你知道佩戴者非常在意守时。

Someone who wears bright or bold clothing might be more comfortable with attention, while someone who opts for subdued styles in neutral tones might prefer to stay out of the limelight.

穿着色彩明艳或设计大胆的服装的人也许更能自如应对他人的目光，而选择中性色调且样式低调的人也许更倾向于避免成为注意的焦点。

A person who wears edgy styles might be resistant to authority.

穿着风格前卫的人也许会反抗权势。

Someone wearing classic, timeless styles might value tradition and predictability.

穿着经典永恒款式的人也许重视传统和可预见性。

Look for items that signal their beliefs, too, like a bracelet with a religious symbol or a T-shirt from a brand that promotes wildlife conservation.

寻找代表其信仰的物品，比如带有宗教象征的手镯或某个推崇保护野生动物品牌的T恤。

What are their facial expressions saying?

他们的面部表情都传递了哪些信息？

There are 6 basic emotions we express with our faces. These are joy, anger, surprise, fear, anger, sadness, and contempt, and they're usually pretty obvious clues to how someone is feeling. However, there are more subtle facial clues that can give you even more insight into what's going on. These might include:

我们会通过面部传递6种基本情感。这6种基本情感包括喜悦、愤怒、惊讶、恐惧、悲伤和蔑视。这些情感可以明显透露主人的感受。然而，还有一些微妙的面部表情可以让你了解更多对方的内心世界。这些面部表情包括：

Raising their eyebrows if they're happy to see you

如果他们很高兴见到你，他们会扬起眉毛

Crinkling their eyes if their smile is genuine

如果他们的微笑是发自内心的，那么当他们微笑时，他们的眼睛会变小。

Squinting their eyes if they disagree or they're confused

当他们持反对意见或困惑时，他们的眼睛会眯起来

Pursing their lips could mean anger, bitterness, or contempt

撅起嘴唇可能表示愤怒、痛苦或蔑视

Clenching their jaw could be a sign of tension or anger

咬紧牙关可能表示紧张或愤怒

Showing their true expression for only a fraction of a second (known as a microexpression)

仅在一瞬间展现其真实的感受（也叫作微表情）

Is the person making eye contact?

是否会进行眼神接触

Eye contact is usually a sign that someone is confident. If someone makes eye contact with you when you meet them, it may mean that they're self-assured and comfortable in a social setting. If they won't meet your eyes, they may be uncertain of  themselves—although it's important to note that some people struggle with eye contact even if they're otherwise confident.

眼神接触通常表示该人是否自信。如果有人在和你谈话时会与你进行眼神接触，那么这可能表示他们非常自信并且在社交场合感觉自在。如果他们不看你的眼睛，他们可能对自己不确定-尽管有一点很重要，那就是有些人尽管并不自信，他们也会努力进行眼神接触。

Pay attention to what else you can tell from the person's eyes. Do they seem warm and inviting or cold and hard? Are they genuinely interested in what you're saying? Do they look frustrated?

留意自己从对方的目光中还可以了解到哪些信息。他们的眼神是否温暖且主动还是冰冷冷酷？他们对你所讲的内容是否真的感兴趣？他们是否看上去很受挫？

Is their body language opened or closed?

肢体语言是开放的还是保守的

Their posture can tell you how comfortable they are. If the person is sitting or standing with their arms open and their shoulders back, they're probably feeling relaxed and confident. This can be a sign that they're open to interacting with you. On the other hand, if their arms are crossed and their shoulders are hunched, they might be trying to close themselves off, so they might be feeling nervous insecure, or they might be hiding something.

他们的姿势会告诉你他们是否愉快放松。当一个人坐着或站着时手臂张开且肩膀靠后，那么他们很可能感到放松且自信。这可能代表他们愿意和你开诚布公。相反，如果他们双臂交叉且肩膀高耸，他们也许尝试把自己封闭起来，因此他们也许会感到紧张不安或也许他们在隐藏什么事情。

Also, pay attention to their hands—if their fingers are far apart, they probably feel confident. If their hand is closed, they might be feeling less secure.

同样，注意他们的双手-如果他们的手指是分开的，他们可能会很自信。如果他们的手是握在一起的，那么他们可能感觉缺乏安全感。

Remember, this is just one possible clue to a person's overall demeanor and personality, On its own, it might not mean much, but when you put it with other mannerisms, you might be able to read deeper into the person.

记住，这仅仅是一个可能暗示一个人整体行为举止和个性的标志。这些动作本身并不代表什么，但是当你把它和其他行为联系起来，你可能会对此人有更加深入的了解。

Do they seem relaxed or fidgety?

对方看上去很放松还是烦躁不安

Frequent fidgeting can be a sign that someone is stressed or nervous. You might notice them touching their face or hair, picking at their fingers, biting their lips, or tapping their foot. It can be hard to tell exactly what's making them feel nervous enough to fidget, so don't jump to conclusions. Just make note of it and see how it plays into your overall impression.

频繁的烦躁不安可能代表某人有压力或感到紧张。你可能会发现他们会摸自己的脸或头发，拉手指，咬嘴唇或抖脚。想要准确知道是什么让他们感到如此紧张以至于烦躁不安并不容易，所以不要轻易下结论。你只需要留意到这一点，然后看看它将如何影响你对他人的整体印象。

Other nervous movements might include touching their neck, rubbing their hands together, or rubbing their chest.

其他表示紧张的动作也许还包括摸脖子，搓手或抚弄胸口。

Are they finding reasons to touch you?

他们是否会找理由触碰你？

Physical contact could mean they're attracted to you. If you're on a date or you're hanging out with someone you might be interested in, pay attention to whether they brush their hand, arm, or leg against you. These little touches could be their way of testing the waters to see if you're interested in them.

肢体接触可能表示你对他们有吸引力。如果你正在和自己感兴趣的对象约会或闲逛，注意他们是否会用自己的手、手臂或腿触碰你。这些小的触碰可能是他们用来测试看你是否对他们感兴趣的方式。

Watch how they are with others—do they frequently hug other people or pat them on the shoulder? If so, it could just be how they are with everyone.

观察他们与他人的互动方式-他们是否会经常和别人拥抱或拍拍对方的肩膀？如果是，那么这可能表示他们与所有人都是这样互动的。

Other signs the person finds you attractive include leaning their body toward you or subconsciously mirroring your movements.

对方认为你具有吸引力的其他迹象还包括把身体靠向你或下意识地模仿你的动作。

How do they respond to basic questions?

他们如何回应基本的问题？

This can give you a baseline for their behavior. Try asking questions like, "Where are you from?" and, "What do you like to do for fun?" These are questions that most people will answer honestly, so they're a great way to get a feel for how that person acts when they're telling the truth.

他们的答案会让你了解他们行为的底线。试着问这样的问题，“你来自哪里？”、“你喜欢什么娱乐活动？”绝大多数人都会诚实回答这些问题，因此这些问题可以让你很好地了解，当一个人说真话时的行为表现。

Ask these questions in a warm, conversational way. The more comfortable you can make the person, the more authentic they'll be.

用友好平常的方式问这些问题。你让对方越愉快，他们也会越真诚。

Note their tone of voice, how loudly they speak, their facial expressions, and their body language while they answer these basic questions.

注意他们在回答这些基本问题时的语调，他们讲话的音量，他们的面部表情以及他们的肢体语言。

What makes them deviate from their baseline?

什么使他们偏离了自己的底线？

Little changes can be a clue that they're uncomfortable. Once you see how the person seems when they're feeling relaxed and natural, it will be easier to tell when they feel tense, nervous, or upset. 

细微的改变可能暗示对方并不自在。一旦你已经看见过对方自然放松时的样子，那么就会更加容易判断出他们是否感到紧张或恼怒。

Understanding where these sensitive areas lie can provide insight into who that person is under the surface.

了解这些敏感区域所在可以让你直视此人的内心。

You might notice that they seem tense if you ask about their family, for instance. This is a good clue that their relationship is difficult.

你也许会注意到，当你询问，比如他们的家庭时，他们似乎看上去有些紧张。这就是一个很好的线索，这个线索可能表示对方家庭关系并不和谐。

They might seem flushed or stammer when they talk about their job. This could be a sign that they feel insecure about what they do for a living.

当谈论其工作时，他们可能会脸红或结结巴巴，那么这可能表示他们对自己赖以生存的工作感到不安。

If they suddenly get louder while they're talking, you might have touched on something that makes them feel passionate or angry.

如果他们在谈论某事时，说话的声音突然变大，那么你可能触碰到让他们感到充满激情或生气的话题。

Are there any tells that could indicate a lie?

判断对方说谎的迹象

Some people might unconsciously signal when they're lying. Unfortunately, there's no universal giveaway that tells you someone's being dishonest. However, if a person does one of these things when they're talking, pay attention to what they just said—there's a chance it was untruthful. Some of these include:

当撒谎时，有人会下意识的发出信号。然而，并没有普遍存在的方法来帮助你判断对方是否撒谎。但是，如果一个人在谈话时，会有如下动作，请留意他们所说的话-很有可能并不是真的。以下动作包括：

Touching their face or hair

触碰脸或头发

Sweating a lot

出很多汗

Clearing their throat or taking a drink

清嗓子或喝水

Avoiding eye contact or staring

避免眼神接触或直视

Speaking in a higher-pitched voice than normal

音调比平时要高

Using a lot of filler words like "um" or "ah"

用大量的搪塞语言，比如“嗯嗯啊啊”

Going pale in the face

面色苍白

Darting their eyes back and forth

眼神躲闪

Blinking rapidly

快速眨眼

Do they talk more than they listen?

他们说话的时间是否多过聆听？

This can indicate that the person is self-centered. Do you feel like you have equal time to share your thoughts during a conversation? If a person doesn't make time to listen to the person they're talking to, they might struggle with qualities like empathy. It doesn't necessarily mean they're a bad person, but it can be helpful to know early on if someone tends to be self-absorbed.

这可能表示此人以自我为中心。你是不是希望在谈话时，你也可以有同样的时间来表达自己的想法？如果一个人不愿意花时间聆听对方，他们可能不具备某些品质，比如同理心。这并非意味着对方是一个坏人，但是提前知道对方是不是只顾着关心自己也是有帮助的。

If you leave the conversation feeling like they weren't interested in getting to know you, they might have a narcissistic personality.

如果你谈话后感觉对方并不想了解你，那么他们可能属于自恋人格。

However, some people get nervous and talk a lot when they're first meeting someone, so remember that this is just one piece of the overall puzzle.

但是，也有些人当和别人第一次见面时，他们会紧张并会说很多话，因此记住这仅仅是此人的部分表现。

Do they brag about their possessions or accomplishments?

他们是否会对自己所拥有的或成就夸夸其谈？

They might be trying to impress you. Some people feel like it's important to get the approval of others. If you're chatting with someone and they constantly reference how much money they make, how many cars they have, or how many Insta followers they have, they might be obsessed with appearances.

他们可能尝试给你留下深刻印象。有些人认为获得其他人的认可非常重要。如果你在和某人聊天，对方经常提及自己赚了多少多少钱，自己拥有多少辆车或者他们的微博有多少粉丝，他们可能对表面的事情很沉迷。

This might make the person seem arrogant, but it can actually be a sign that deep down they struggle with some insecurities.

这也许让此人看上去有些傲慢，但实际上在他们的内心深处，他们可能会有些不安全感。

Do they talk badly about other people?

他们是否会说其他人的坏话？

Gossip can be a sign of a toxic personality. Chances are, if someone is willing to badmouth others when they're not around, they'll do the same thing to you. If you notice this, it's probably best to steer clear of any close personal relationships with that person.

嚼舌根则可能表示此人人品有问题。如果有人在他人背后说坏话，那么他们也会同样对你。如果你注意到了这一点，最好立刻远离此人。

For instance, if you're on a date and someone has a lot of negative things to say about their ex, it could be a sign they aren't accepting responsibility for their part in what went wrong.

比如，如果你正在和某人约会，某人说了很多有关前任的坏话，那么则可能表示他们不愿意对自己做的不好的地方负责。

Could any cultural differences be affecting your impression?

文化差异是否会对你的印象造成影响？

Take into account how that might affect their body language. It can be hard to read someone if you're judging them solely by your own experiences. For instance, in some cultures, it's impolite to make eye contact. If you don't take that into consideration, you might feel like the person is being dishonest because they won't meet your eyes.

考虑一下文化差异会对肢体语言产生哪些影响。如果仅凭自己的经验来判断，那么则很难了解对方。比如，在某些文化里，与对方进行眼神接触是不礼貌的。如果你不将这一点考虑在内，你可能会认为此人并不诚实。

A person's culture might also impact how close to you they stand, how they shake hands, and even how quickly they respond after you ask them a question.

一个人的文化也会影响到他站立时会离你有多近，他们握手的方式，甚至是在你问他们问题时，他们的响应时间。

What is your gut telling you?

你的直觉是什么？

Add everything up, then add in your intuition. There are a lot of clues you can use to get a feel for someone, but there are also things that aren't so easy to define, like what kind of energy they're projecting. If you get a certain feeling about someone, ask yourself where it's coming from, and watch for evidence that tells you whether the feeling was right or wrong.

除了上述线索外，再加上你的直觉。你可以通过许多线索来了解某人，但是也有许多方面是很难定义的，比如他们散发出哪种能量。如果某人给你一种感觉，问问自己这种感觉从何而来，然后寻找证据来判断这种感觉到底是错还是对的。

For example, if your intuition tells you that someone is sad, you might be subconsciously picking up on hints that you don't notice right away. Later, you might realize the person kept their eyes down and spoke in a low tone for most of the conversation.

比如，如果你的直觉告诉你，对方很悲伤，那么你可能会下意识的寻找一些你并没有立刻注意到的细节。随后，你可能会发现，在谈话的大部分时间里，对方的目光一直下垂并且说话的声音非常低。

Intuition isn't always perfect, but with time and experience, you can learn to hone your instincts about people.

直觉并非总是完美的，但是随着时间和经验的累积，你可以学会慢慢用直觉来了解对方。

文章来源：Wikihow      翻译&编辑：译锐翻译Susan